“You know what you are to me…”

On the back of my last post, I felt like I should mention artist number 2: Owen aka Matt Kinsella out of Chicago. On a misty night in Madison I went to see a show of his in, essentially, a basement venue on the UW campus. I’m not sure it ever really got resurrected after a big redesign and renovation of the student union building but as it was, I stumbled upon the info about this show. I don’t even remotely remember how. At the time, much like now, I was in a phase of full-on depression and alcoholism.

Wisconsin was not the place to go if I had planned to stay sober in this period but, as the famous Vonnegut refrain says, “so it goes…”

Anyway, I found myself enlivened by the sardonic, sarcastic, and downbeat wit of Kineslla whom I was familiar with from some of his previous projects. His solo acoustic (mainly) project featured amazing guitar playing that, as a “musician”, I appreciated even more beyond the connection I felt at that time with his lyrics.

As I battle through this latest phase of massive depression and alcoholism I found myself returning to this music. One song, in particular, I strongly felt connected with my situation with that ex was “Bird in Hand” partly because the relationship I had left for this other person was one that I entered into fully intending to, one day, marry them. Looking back, this was beyond naive.

However, now that it happened with “the one” (or more appropriately “the final one”) I find this song in a new context and yet what I felt and believed about myself when I sang along with this the first time applies even more now than it did then. If anything, I wish we could redo that moment clearer in who we are, what we want, and what we need. I would give anything to put that “suit” back on…

Instead, I think, we are both worse off and, basically, alcoholics trying to “live”.

To wit…

whiskey and me

whiskey and me

whiskey and me

whiskey and me

These photos were taken, roughly, fifteen minutes apart. Que sera, sera.