Every now and again news trickles through the cracks and I hear things. I’m sure you do, too. I hear about things that, if I were a far more vengeful or spiteful person, might give me some morbid joy. Something about karma this or that, but ultimately, I have too much empathy for that kind of nonsense.
A lot of what I feel I’m going to say here isn’t anything new at all but, for some reason, I feel compelled to say it again. As if it will change anything… and yet here I am. This next part sounds cliche by now, even to me but here we go… again.
The fact of the matter is that when I hear about some new difficulty or hardship thrown your way I think about how this isn’t how things have to be. Yet, they are. As positive momentum builds in my daily life it doesn’t change the emptiness I often find myself feeling at night.
I don’t know for sure if we could ever come back from this and I certainly don’t feel like you want to but that’s ultimately up to you. I don’t know if you read this blog or if anyone is sending it to you and I guess it really doesn’t matter. After all, it’s my mechanism to get some of these words out of my head so that I can find enough peace to rest on nights like these when I can’t seem to hold it at bay.
Most, if not all, of this won’t matter even a little bit in a couple more months anyway. A judge somewhere that neither of us wants to be is going to drive the final nails into the coffin called “us”. But, I’ll offer it up one more time: you can put a stop, or even just a pause, on all this.
I wish you would.